Assalamualaikum

Suprise...aku kini menulis dari keselesaan bilik hotel di Lanjut, Rompin Pahang. Yup, kat sini derang provide wireless internet free of charge. Ye Lanjut...4 bulan lepas aku ada datang sini untuk kursus RnD.

Aku di sini atas urusan kursus. Kursus Team Building 2007 anjuran kolej aku. Tujuan kursus ni untuk membentuk satu kejelikitan antara kakitangan kolej. Kejelikitan? Bukan kemelekitan tau..alah macam nak wujudkan suasana kerjasama staff kolej ler...

Dah tiga hari aku kat sini, macam2 aktiviti dilakukan. Antara aktiviti2 itu ialah pembentukan kumpulan, Flying fox, rafting, treasure hunt, water confident dan obstacle course. Besh aktiviti2 nih...sekurang2nya lupa kejap kesibukan kerja kat kolej tuh.

Majlis pembukaan plak tetiba aku kena lantik juruacara. Geram sebab tau last minit dan kena prepare text untuk majlis yang memerlukan protokol sebab melibatkan pengarah kolej. Aduhai tak tido malam prepare ayat2. Huhuhuhu. Tak patot betoi.

Esok hari last aku kat sini. Sedih ada seronok ada, penat pon ada. Isnin kerja tetap kerja. Itu yang tetiba hilang mood mengenangkan betapa penatnya aku menjalani aktiviti2 kat sini.

Malam nih seronok sebab tentatif terakhir kena cancel sebab ada masalah sket. Bleh ler releks2 sket. Itu yang ada masa nak surf ngan tulis entry nih...nasib baik bawak laptop datang sini...

Apa pon, nak ucapkan terima kasih ler sebab ada orang yang baca lagi. Tak harap pon orang datang baca blog aku. Sekurang2nya ada tempat untuk luahkan sesuatu sekiranya takder orang nak dengar.

Peace.

Wow...

dah lama tak cakap sorang2 macam orang gila kat sini. Kengkadang malas nak tulis sebab rasanya macam orang dah tak baca sebab jarang2 sangat apdet kat sini sebab sibuk tahap gabanz sejak mengajar kuliah sepenuh masa nih...

Tapi bagus gak sekali sekala bebel tak tentu pasal kati sini sebab kita kena terima hakikat bukan ada orang nak dengar kita bebel. Oh heck! Bukan ada orang nak dengar kalau dah cakap personally pon. The truth is you can never stop other people's free will of choosing. I realize I can't control everything...I can't control anything.

So what to do? Biarlah orang nak buat apa pon kan? Lagi kita pikir lagi semak kepala otak nih yang sepatutnya boleh aku guna nak buat mender2 lagi berpaedah. Dah orang taknak dengar takkan kita nak paksa. Only makes my blood go upstairs je kan? Sape mintak? Sape suruh?

Rasa pon sejak akhir2 nih, sumer orang tau kecuali aku, orang tau pasal aku yang aku tak tau. Aku rasa macam dunia nih penuh konspirasi untuk menjatuhkan aku. Huhuhu. Dah jadi Schizophreniac ke aku nih?

Apa pon lusa nak gi Rompin untuk release tensen. Ada team-building, ada flying fox, jungle trekking dan macam2 mender yang takder kena ngena ngan kerja. Tempat tuh pon bukan ada signal tepon sangat pon.

BTW, I'm listening to the latest Maroon 5 Album and I like it very much..catchy!

Makes Me Wonder
by Maroon 5

[Verse]
I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry

Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back

[Bridge]
I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
(Yeah)

So this is goodbye

[Verse]
God damn my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid

I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

[Bridge]
I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

[Chorus 1 + 2]
Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try

And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

[Breakdown]
I've been here before
One day a week
And it won't hurt anymore

You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning
'Cause

[Bridge]
I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
And I...and so this is goodbye

[Chorus 1 + 2]
Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore

I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try

And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

So this is goodbye, yeah (x 3)
(Oh no)

Setelah melalui hujung minggu yang memenatkan,

Minggu nih tak membawa sebarang berita baik pon,

Awal2 pagi Isnin dah buat aku hilang mood. Masuk kelas budak tak buat tutorial.

"Apa tengok je? Mane kerja awak? Takkan duduk kat situ je dengan buku tertutup, solution tak buat? Apa awak ingat saya buat show ke kat depan ni?!!!", mula aku hilang sabar.

Ingat aku nih datang kelas nak selesaikan soalan untuk korang ker? Datang tutor nak tolong perkukuhkan pemahaman dari Kuliah bukan siapkan kerja korang. Kalau camtuh baik aku je yang jadi student.

Biar orang nak kata aku datang bulan ke apa ke. Aku penat. Semua sekeliling langsung tak membantu meringankan kepenatan aku tuh.

p.s: Susah orang tak dengar cakap nih. Dah bagitau tuh buat je la. Untuk kebaikan gak ...susah sangat ke tah?

Is it me or Argentinians likes to use their hands to score goals? Huhuhuh...observe

Assalamualaikum,

Cikgu nih dah dua minggu dok train budak main pingpong untuk kejohanan sukan yang akan diadakan pertengahan bulan Ogos nanti kat Kedah. Minggu lepas Cikgu dok bagi derang training jer main2 pukul2 gitu.

Awal minggu nih Cikgu telah mula melakukan penyingkiran pemain2 yang kurang mahir dengan menggunakan perlawanan kalah mati. Cikgu padankan antara yang tere dengan yang tak tere. Akhirnya Cikgu dapat 9 orang yang Cikgu dah aim minggu sebelomnyer lagi...

So pemilihan pemain perseorangan sepatutnya sudah habis semalam. Tapi ada insiden yang membuatkan darah Cikgu panas.

Beberapa pemain yang Cikgu aim memang ada bakat untuk pemilihan akhir nanti dah buat hal. Pemilihan yang sepatotnya bermula pukul lima suku tergendala. Akhirnya Cikgu geram dan terus cancel pemilihan. Biarkan derang main je.

Di akhir sesi latihan Cikgu cakap nih...
"Harini awak semua dah tunjukkan satu contoh sikap yang saya tak gemar. Saya ingatkan setelah dua minggu saya dapat lihat potensi yang ada dalam diri awak semua. Tapi ini pula yang saya dapat? Kalau macam ini lah sikap awak tunjukkan, hebat macam mana pon awak jangan harap dapat masuk team saya! Saya beri pilihan, perbaiki attitude awak atau terima padahnya"

Wah...garang Cikgu ye. Akhirnya jadi Amerika kejap. Bengang betoi Cikgu. Cikgu perlukan pemain yang bersemangat bukan pemain yang syok sendiri perasan tere. Huhuhu.

p.s: Teringat kat Sir Alex Ferguson baling boot kat Beckham. Silap2 Cikgu baling bat eh silap...bola pingpong kat budak2 nih. Hehehe

Assalamualaikum

Sejak akhir2 nih Cikgu macam hilang semangat untuk buat apa2 pon. Kalau datang semangat pon sekejap je datangnya pastu lenyap balik.

Tutor sudah, Kuliah sudah, meeting pon dah sudah. Petang nih ada pemilihan pemain ping pong untuk wakil kolej. Mata nih mengantuk, penat drive kereta semalam pon tak habis lagi. Biasalah bila travel sampe satu tempat tuh, susah betul Cikgu nak lelapkan mata.

Semalam Cikgu baca Quran malam2. Dah lama tak membaca. Rasa jahil sangat kengkadang. Betul cakap ustaz kat rumah, lama tak baca Quran nih keras lidah.

Rasa macam banyak dosa dalam usia muda nih. Banyak dalam pikiran nih, tapi susah nak keluarkan. Gejolak dalaman nih semakin lama memakan diri.

Sampai bila lagi nak maintain camnih pon taktau.

p.s: Sakit pale nih makin menjadi2.

Assalamualaikum,

Today I encountered a new problem, and haven't decided which is better? Talk about your problems with others or just keep it to yourself and have a chat with inner conscience?

Sometimes I think that maybe nobody know one self better than him or herself. But there are times even your own conscience is urging you to have a chat to the closest person to you. On the other hand, he/she would not want to spoil their day listening to your mumbo jumbo.

So which is better?

Having a problem in your head is one thing, burdening yourself with guilt feeling is not what you are looking for in this kind of situation.

I guess the best answer is to keep your problems stuffed in you tiny little puny head until it exploads. Huhuhuh...

p.s: You'll be suprised what you can advice yourself sometimes.

Assalamualaikum,

This week is the most tiring week of my entire teaching career. I have naver been given relief classes so much that I covered 14 hours of teaching this week. Four hour more than usual. Some pregnant collegues decided to have serious morning sickness and took a leave.

Apart from being extremely exhausted, I quite enjoyed going into those classes. To my surprise, they somehow seems to know me even before I introduced myself. Well that was the price for over-exposing myself during the Teacher's day celebration night. Huhuhu.

Other controversies this week, our step-father director decided to put on a rule so that the teachers can have morning break any more than half-an hour! Come on...he's gotta be crazy. How can human munch and swallow so fast? Just because some of the supporting staff do eat in larger group and spent more time in the cafe does not mean he can apply the same rule to teachers here.

Teachers here don't have any specific time to have breakfast. They only do it when they have a free period and each individual teachers have different set of free period. That guy must be crazy. We are HUMANS...not ROBOTS!!!

Furthermore, recent tv coverage quoted by the Education Minister himself saying that teachers in Malaysia work above normal level or working hour in the WORLD. What more can you ask?

All the teachers here want is to be more flexible. We never claimed any over-time even when we work past our office hour or even come at night doing extra classes but why must he be so rigid when it comes to those tiny little details? It's just breakfast. Why don't he think that keeping his staff happy is more important than making them despise him? He is just one hell of a bullshit!!

I'm sorry readers. Just needed to channel those anger out here. Hiks. Apart from that lousy school pengetua director wannabe who thinks he can run this college better than the previous director...my week is perfectly fine.

[This newly appointed director came from high school and never even been a pengetua before. He thinks that college workstyle is the same like in school...dumbass!!!]

p.s: Being back home always reminded me of my childhood.