You touched my life
with a softness in the night
my wish was your command
until you ran
out of love
I tell my self I'm free
got the change of living just for me
no need to carry on
now that you're gone

CHORUS
Knife
cuts like a knife
how will I ever heal
I'm so deeply wounded
knife
cuts like a knife
you cut away the heart of my life

When I pretend when I smile
to fool my dearest friends
I wonder if they know
it's just a show
I'm on a stage day or night
through my charades
but how can I disguise
what's in my eyes
(Repeat CHORUS)

Oh oh oh oh oh ...

I try and try locking up
the pain I feel inside
the pain of wanting you
wanting you
(Repeat CHORUS)

p.s: Knife is piercing my chest right now :'( . Where did I do wrong?

Assalamualaikum,

As we all know this week, the Iron Man movie will be in movies here in Malaysia this 30 April 2008 and I am so all enthusiastic about it. I've read about it and this entry is dedicated for those who do not know Iron Man a.k.a Tony Stark that much and may this entry sparks your interest in the new upcoming Marvel superhero movie..


Origins

Anthony 'Tony' Stark was born on Long Island, New York, the son of Howard Stark, a wealthy industrialist and head of Stark Industries, and Maria Stark. Tony is a boy genius, entering MIT at the age of 15, and graduating at the top of his class. After his parents' accidental deaths in a rival driveby incident, he inherits his father's company.

While observing the effects of his experimental technologies on the American war effort, Stark is injured by a booby trap and captured by the enemy, who then orders him to design weapons for them. However, Stark's injuries are dire and shrapnel in his chest threatens to pierce his heart. His fellow prisoner, Yin Sen, helps Stark use the workshop to secretly design and construct a suit of powered armor that saves Stark's life by keeping his heart beating. Stark uses the armor to escape, although Yin Sen dies during the attempt. Stark takes revenge on his kidnappers, then heads back to rejoin the American forces. Along the way he meets a wounded American Air Force helicopter pilot, James "Rhodey" Rhodes.

Back home, Stark discovers the shrapnel lodged in his chest cannot be removed without killing him, and he is forced to wear the armor's chestplate beneath his clothes to act as a regulator for his heart. He must also recharge the chestplate every day or else risk the shrapnel killing him. The cover for Iron Man is that he is Stark's bodyguard and corporate mascot. To that end, Iron Man fights threats to his company, Communist opponents such as the Black Widow, the Crimson Dynamo and the Titanium Man as well as independent villains like the Mandarin. No one suspects Stark of being Iron Man as he cultivates an image as a rich playboy and industrialist. Two notable members of Stark's supporting cast at this point are his personal chauffeur Harold "Happy" Hogan and secretary Virginia "Pepper" Potts, to both of whom he eventually reveals his dual identity. Meanwhile, Jim Rhodes would find his own niche as Stark's personal pilot of extraordinary skill and daring.

The comic took an anti-Communist stance in its early years, which was softened as opposition rose to the Vietnam War^[3][8]. This change evolved in a series of stories with Stark profoundly reconsidering his political opinions and the morality of manufacturing weapons for the military. Stark, however, often shows himself to be occasionally arrogant and willing to let the ends justify the means.^{[citation needed]} This leads to personal conflicts with the people around him, both in his civilian and superhero identities. Stark uses his personal fortune to not only outfit his own armor but to develop weapons for S.H.I.E.L.D. and other technologies such as the Quinjets used by the Avengers, and the image inducers used by the X-Men.

Eventually, Stark's heart condition is discovered by the public and cured with an artificial heart transplant. However, Stark also develops a serious dependency on alcohol. The first time it becomes a problem is when Stark discovers that the national security agency S.H.I.E.L.D. has been buying a controlling interest in his company in order to ensure Stark's continued weapons development for them. At the same time, Stark's business rival Justin Hammer hires several supervillains to attack Stark. At one point, the Iron Man armor is even taken over and used to murder a diplomat. Although Iron Man is not immediately under suspicion, Stark is forced to hand the armor over to the authorities. Eventually Stark and Rhodes, who is now his personal pilot and confidant, track down and defeat those responsible, although Hammer would return to bedevil Stark again. With the support of his then-girlfriend, Bethany Cabe, his friends and his employees, Stark pulls through these crises and overcomes his dependency on alcohol.

Some time later, a ruthless rival, Obadiah Stane, manipulates Stark emotionally into a serious relapse. As a result, Stark loses control of Stark International, becomes a homeless alcoholic vagrant and gives up his armored identity to Rhodes, who becomes the new Iron Man for a lengthy period of time. Eventually, Stark recovers and starts a new company, Circuits Maximus. Stark concentrates on new technological designs, including building a new set of armor as part of his recuperative therapy. Rhodes continues to act as Iron Man but steadily grows more aggressive and paranoid, due to the armor not being calibrated properly for his use. Eventually Rhodes goes on a rampage, and Stark has to don the prototype suit to stop him. When Circuits Maximus comes under assault from Stane, Stark uses the completed next-generation armor to confront Stane in personal combat. Stark's skill proves superior over Stane's unpracticed use of his own variant suit (known as the Iron Monger) and Stark regains his company when Stane commits suicide rather than be captured.

...articles taken from Wikipedia

So thats why there seems to be two Iron Man in the movie you see...hiks. Well I am guessing that they actually followed the comic storyline this time. Can't wait until this Thursday...

Assalamualaikum

I'm back...after 6 days of quarantine in a hotel, for a secret mission. Hiks. Just came back marking the maths paper. Got to tell you it was far better than the first time. There was less stress, better boss, easier paper to check. Why...because most of them were blanks. Hiks.

However,

There was a downside to it...my flu still bad. Although I stopped sneezing at the beginning of the session, but my nose still clogged with mucus which makes my breathing a little bit harder.

For matriculation students out there....be afraid...be very afraid. Because of what I saw these few days, your future maybe in doubt. I can say that I've expected some nonsense answers...but I never expected rubbish. That was why the marking process was a little bit easy. Zero all the way...bye bye maths.

Can't say anything good about the food though. It was getting a little bit monotonous with the same menu coming up everyday. The food was prepared so unhealthy, even my group member was attacked with gout on his arm's joint. Hiks...maybe because there was so many oyster sauce in the ingredients.

Now that I'm back home, I'm on medication again...groggy and dizziness starts all over again. Have to recover before this Thursday...big day...Ironman...here I come.

Until then...it's good to be back...

Assalamualaikum

Iron Man trailer



Batman - The Dark Knight Trailer



Why so serious?? Hehehe

The Incredible Hulk Trailer

Assalamualaikum

I finally surrendered and turn myself into a 24 hour clinic near my house after clogging almost all my air path with mucus and flam.

After consuming the medicine given to me, I dozed off at every chance I get. Basically today, I lived a life of a male lion who happens to sleep almost 80% in a day. When I woke up, the flam and mucus is very much gone, but I couldn't feel or taste anything that comes in my mouth. Pity me. Even as I type right now, I am still groggy and can anytime doze off again. Hiks.

Being tasteless and feeling less, reminded me of the Linkin Park song....numb

Linkin Park - Numb



tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
i don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(just caught in the undertoe just caught in the undertoe)
every step that i take is another mistake to you
(just caught in the undertoe just caught in the undertoe)

i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i've become so tired so much more aware
i'm becoming this all i want to do
is be more like me and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
because everything thing that you thought of me
has fallen apart right in front of you

(just caught in the undertoe just caught in the undertoe)
every step that i take is another mistake to you
(just caught in the undertoe just caught in the undertoe)
and everysecond i waste is more than i can take

i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i've become so tired so much more aware
i'm becoming this all i want to do
is be more like me and be less like you

and i know i may end up failing too
but i know you just were just like me
with someone dissapointed in you

i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i've become so tired so much more aware
i'm becoming this all i want to do
is be more like me and be less like you

i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i'm tired of being what you want me to be
i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i'm tired of beign who you want me to be

Assalamualaikum

Finally the 2007/2008 matriculation session is out. Yesterday was the last day for all of them in matriculation college and means that they will enter the cruel world out there. Hiks

Anyway, it also means a short holiday for me before I will be quarantine next week for couple of days in a designated hotel with a bunch of maths freaks where we are going to mark those exam papers those students sat few days back.

Unfortunately, with this short break, I have to endure with a minor and rare cold. Been sneezing all day even during the last day of the exam I was invigilating. The cold was so bad that it affected my eyesight. Hope I will recover in time before the marking session because it is going to be very...very cold in there.

Anyhow, today was the longest time I've spent sleeping. Yes! A dose of Ezede medicine manage to knock me out for the whole day and made me feel as light as a feather.

Until then, hope I'll recover soon...take care now bye bye then



Vitamin C - Graduation

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change,
From whatever
We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat chorus

La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Repeat chorus 3x

p.s: This song reminded me how college was a fun phase of my life.

"Don't Speak" - Chris Richardson

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Assalamualaikum

Today marks the end of the hectic study week. Today I've also discovered that it was the best day and the worst day in my life. I've learn a valuable lesson today about a famous English saying "to forgive and forget". Today two things happened to me...and the saying gave me two distinctive meaning. I find it is easier to forgive...but really, it is impossible to forget.

Earlier in the afternoon. A group of students came to me and asked for my forgiveness and blessings for them to seat for the exam week next Monday peacefully.

Malay's really believed that if the teacher gives blessings, then the whole process should become easier. One after another came to visit me and asked and I truthfully gave them my blessings. I said "I have never hold any grudge against you during my time teaching." They said they really understood those lesson I've taught during the lecture. It really mean a lot coming from them. Even from my ex-lecture students. I was on cloud nine.

Suddenly came this one particular boy who seems to piss me off by skipping class very much frequently, and he came with the same objective. So I did forgave him for pissing me off. Hiks.

However later today, I now know that not all forgiveness comes in package with forgetting the whole mishap.

One should ask these questions,
Have you ever been lied to?
Have you ever forgive that person?
If you did, can you still recall that very lie perfectly well.
It means that you never forget the bloody incident.

So it doesn't mean that the saying is true. I sometimes can forgive, but I never forget. Especially when it come to people lying to me. I'm allergic to lies.

Have a nice and pleasant weekend.

Apologize - One Republic



I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

Assalamualaikum

This week is the study week for matriculation students. Next week they will go to war...I mean Final Exam.

As for me...no student have come to consult so far...which means I have the luxury of writing this entry.

However I can anticipate that I will get some stupid questions.
Questions like :

1. Cikgu bleh tak ajar balik dari bab 1 sampe 12??
2. Cikgu...camner nak tambah tolak??

If I get these kind of question, they will definitely get an answer...but not a pleasant one. One week left and these are not the type of questions they should be asking.

I am not feeling very well today. I have been monitoring my health progress and the conclusion that I can make is that I am perfectly healthy physically.

On the other hand, I am extremely being affected by my emotional and mental fatigue. As a result, my lazy mind commanded my perfectly healthy body to shut down as well.

Gotta go...got client (students) already...Busy day...

AssalamualaikumThe Wallpaper says it all...This is the movie I have been waiting for. Robert Downey Jr. will have a very big responsibility becoming Tony Stark a.k.a Iron Man.

Another anticipated sequel is the Incredible Hulk. Unfortunately, Eric Bana won't be Bruce Banner a.k.a Hulk. Instead, Edward Norton is given the opportunity to turn green and smash and bash...hiks.


Can't wait for these movies to come over....Marvel ROCKS!!!